For the Moments I Feel Faint

We've all had those moments or even lengths of time in our lives when we feel far away and disconnected from our Father in Heaven. They sometimes fall after something significant in our lives has something happened- our friends have turned their backs on us, a family member dies, a parents walks out on you. You feel like God isn't with you. You can see what He is doing to people around you but you feel that your life is lacking something.

I had one of those moments last night. It happened for no particular reason and I just felt frustrated with myself. I felt like I was putting a barrier between God and me and I didn't know how I was doing it or how to take it down. I became angry with myself. I cried out longing to feel that blanket of love wrapped around me but I felt my pleas weren't heard. I went to sleep after about an hour, still feeling little love or comfort.

I can't say this morning I woke up feeling significantly better but I did feel something. I woke up with an answer. The first thought on my mind this morning was not of my daily chores or what commitments I had to keep up but it was of something greater, a message from God. He is asking me to wait. To wait to feel His love. He hasn't taken His love from me but right now, He is only speaking to me in a whisper, not a shout. And, not going to lie, it's scary. But I feel it is how God is pushing me to grow in my faith. Although right now, I'm not sure what He is doing with my life, He needs me to be faithful when he calls. Even though His whispered commands are quiet, I still need to obey and trust Him, knowing that His plans will prevail (Proverbs 19:21).

I believe in this time that I am waiting to hear His shout again, He is preparing me. Sometimes even when God speaks to us in a shout but we don't hear Him because we are so preoccupied with earthly things. I believe that He is preparing me for those times and teaching me to listen to Him even when it's hard.

For those of you who are in this same place, know that you are not alone. Jesus loves you! While He died on the cross, he was thinking of YOU! He will never leave or forsake you. He loves you more than the stars that He taught to shine. He loves you more than all of the grains of sand on the beach. Even if it feels like it, you're never alone.

In His Service,

Jillian

jillianlangford@sbcglobal.net

For those of you who are feeling alone right now, shoot me an email. I'd love to talk and help your through this "time of whisper".